Tuesday, December 8, 2020

The Curse of Snu-Snu

A millennia ago there was a highly skilled monk that travelled the lands. While his name has been lost to the ages, he was commonly called Snu-Snu. An extreme celibate, Snu-Snu was disgusted by any form of sexual arousal outside of intentional procreation, and that even that was to not result in any pleasure to be had. He also claimed that his martial powers came from his celibacy, and that not even the Gods could tempt him.

Well, the Gods are a fickle and egotistical bunch. A majority of them got together to decide how to punish Snu-Snu for this effrontery. The debate quickly turned into a shoving match, and tempers flared until Sinela, Goddess of Humor, Lust and Chaos, offered a punishment idea that turned the fisticuffs into roars of laughter. The punishment was the most dramatically ironic punishment that had ever been inflicted upon a mortal before or since.

Soon thereafter, Snu-Snu entered a martial tournament that was known throughout the realms as one that would prove who the greatest martial artist around was. Snu-Snu won his first two combats quickly, pummeling his opponents into unconsciousness with a few powerful hits. His third combat was rather different, however. When his first punch landed, his opponent moaned and became obviously turgid under his robe. As punches contacted, Snu-Snu's foe moaned louder and louder and quickly became distracted. One last blow from the now furious monk caused his opponent to orgasm loudly and messily, falling unconscious and spent to the floor.

The laughter of the crowd caused Snu-Snu to become quite red. How could his enemy be so disgusting, to receive sexual pleasure from the pain that was being inflicted? He demanded a new opponent, and one was supplied for him. A woman this time, the exact same thing happened yet once again except that a fairly large puddle of vaginal lubricant and piss was left on the floor as well. This was beyond vile! How could such a thing happen? Disgusting! And why are they all laughing? The entire crowd is filled with perverts!

It soon became known that Snu-Snu could do nothing but inflict loathsome and nauseating sexual pleasure upon any living creature that he fought against, much to his ongoing chagrin. No matter where he went his reputation travelled with him, and while Snu-Snu was largely forgotten his name eventually became a term for the sex act. The term "Death by Snu-Snu" was coined by an all female barbarian tribe due to their preferred method of executing males.

Sinela didn't forget, however. Once in a generation a monk is inflicted with the Curse of Snu-Snu, simply as a joke on Her part. How this curse works is as follows: The monk is completely unable to inflict lethal damage with his unarmed attacks. Every attack causes his foe to become more and more sexually aroused, resulting in a -1 To Hit for every 10 HP of damage the monk inflicts. Once the enemy is at 1/2 HP, he or she has a strong orgasm that leaves them STAGGERED for 1d4 rounds. If damage exactly equals his current HP he is STUNNED, and if his nonlethal damage exceeds his HP he has a massive orgasm and becomes UNCONSCIOUS. This happens with any humanoid or non-humanoid creature that is capable of having an orgasm (undead are immune for obvious reasons).

The curse can only be lifted by having a Remove Curse cast upon the sufferer by a Lv 20+ spellcaster, or with the use of an Alter Reality or full Wish spell. Sinela will occasionally take pity on the poor monk, but this has been known to have happened only twice in the past thousand years. The curse itself is considered to be a Flaw, as described in the 3.5 Unearthed Arcana rulebook. It does not grant a bonus feat, however.



Wednesday, June 24, 2020

Tattooing Skill and Checks

A basic knotwork style tattoo requires a single skill check, has a DC 0f 12 (this will go up or down for different types of tattoos) and will take 1d6 hours, 1 hour minimum. The DC can be raised or lowered by adding or subtracting one hour for every point adjusted on the DC (e.g. 1d6+1 = DC11, 1d6-1=DC13, etc). A successful roll means the person getting the tattoo takes 1d4 non-lethal damage (a sliver of steel in octopus ink hurts) per hour, needs to make a disease check DC10 (failed means a minor infection for 1d8 days, -1 To Hit because of pain) and a new tattoo. A failed check means that the art is screwed up somehow, such as crooked lines, and the damage and disease check still happen. A fumble on the check means a bad tattoo, 1d2 regular damage and a disease check at DC 15. A crit on the check means the tattoo is incredible, and in addition there is no disease check. The 1d4 non-lethal still happens. The best part is that a crit will get you a +1 to Intimidation, Diplomacy or Bluff (depending on what the tattoo is - example: A shark is intimidation, an owl is diplomacy and a raven is bluff) if the tattoo is visible.


Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Coin Sizes

Even though I run 3.5 edition games, this information is applicable.
Originally posted https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/8ctupf/the_size_of_coinage_in_dd_5e/

While 5E specifies a weight for coins, it doesn't specify size. This makes sense, since if coins all weigh the same amount, their sizes necessarily change based upon their differing metal content. Additionally, it is indicated that there are a number of different shapes of coins in use in the world, and shape can wildly change size, depending what variables you attempt to maintain. While in real life, anything other than round is very rare in regular issue pre-modern coinage, I thought it would be nice to produce some tables of what sizes coins would be in assorted shapes and metal compositions.
If you’re minting a coin of a specific weight, there are three other basic factors in play: Size, Shape, and Thickness. You can standardize any two of those at a time, but the third will have to change if the metal changes, since different metals have different densities, and a will require more or less volume to achieve a given weight standard. The following are tables for the resulting dimensions when you make coins of specific shapes, standardizing either the size of each coin (makes for easier stacking) or the thickness (makes for easier identification).
Circular Coins
The standard shape of coins the world over, since physics pretty much makes this the natural shape resulting from the minting process. The gold piece in either of these options is very close in size to an American one cent coin.
  • If all your coins all have a thickness of 1.5875mm (1/16”), then their diameters will be:
    CP: 28.45mm (1.12”)
    SP: 26.42mm (1.04”)
    EP: 22.35mm (0.88”)
    GP: 19.30mm (0.76”) <-- About the size of a US penny
    PP: 18.288mm (0.72”)
  • If all your coins are a matching 20mm (0.79”) in diameter, then their thicknesses will be:
    CP: 3.23mm (.127”)
    SP: 2.75mm (.108”)
    EP: 2.01mm (.079”)
    GP: 1.50mm (.059”)
    PP: 1.35mm (.053”)
Square Coins
While square coins exist in various nations around the world, they were extremely rare prior to the widespread use of machine minting. Examples from medieval Europe tend to be siege coins and emergency issues, which were physically sliced from a sheet of metal in the absence of proper minting equipment. Because squares maximize volume, these see the greatest extremes in size change across metals.
  • If all your coins all have a thickness of 1.5875mm (1/16”), then the length of their sides will be:
    CP: 25.16mm (.99”)
    SP: 21.46mm (.84”)
    EP: 15.61mm (.61”)
    GP: 11.66mm (.46”)
    PP: 10.49mm (.41”)
  • If all your coins have a matching 20mm (0.79”) side length, then their thicknesses will be:
    CP: 2.53mm (.10”)
    SP: 2.16mm (.09”)
    EP: 1.57mm (.06”)
    GP: 1.18mm (.05”)
    PP: 1.06mm (.04”) <-- This is wafer thin, but coins this thin did exist
Triangular Coins
While modern triangular coins do exist (typically as special commemoratives designed for the collector market), I’m not aware of any medieval coins minted in this shape. Many wedge-shaped pieces of coins were used (the famous “pieces of eight” for example), but these tended to be round coins that were then sliced up like a pie in order to make change. When the value is in the metal itself, the “coin” itself is more a convenient means of identifying a quantity, and fractions of it retain their fractional value perfectly. These calculations are for equilateral triangle shapes. If you’d prefer a right triangle, use the tables for squares, and double the thicknesses.
  • If all your coins all have a thickness of 1.5875mm (1/16”), then the length of their sides will be:
    CP: 38.40mm (1.51”)
    SP: 35.47mm (1.40”)
    EP: 30.27mm (1.19”)
    GP: 26.15mm (1.03”)
    PP: 24.82mm (0.98”)
  • If all your coins have a matching 20mm (0.79”) side length, then their thicknesses will be:
    CP: 5.86mm (.23”)
    SP: 5.00mm (.20”)
    EP: 3.64mm (.14”)
    GP: 2.72mm (.11”)
    PP: 2.45mm (.10”)
Hexagonal Coins
A number of coins over time have been standard polygons of more than four sides. Anything from five to twelve sides isn’t unheard of. The more sides are added, the easier it actually becomes to make, because the shape gets closer to the natural round one that metal wants to form when pressed. Anything above six sides I would probably just use the “round” table and estimate from there (an octagon, for example, has an area only about 10% smaller than a circle of the same diameter. A decagon is about 5% larger, and a dodecagon is about 2.5% larger). The distance from one point of a hexagon to the far opposite point is called the “long diagonal.”
  • If all your coins all have a thickness of 1.5875mm (1/16”), then length of the long diagonal will be:
    CP: 31.35mm (1.23”)
    SP: 28.96mm (1.14”)
    EP: 24.71mm (0.97”)
    GP: 21.35mm (0.84”)
    PP: 20.26mm (0.80”)
  • If all your coins have a matching 20mm (0.79”) long diagonal, then their thicknesses will be:
    CP: 3.90mm (.15”)
    SP: 3.33mm (.13”)
    EP: 2.42mm (.10”)
    GP: 1.81mm (.07”)
    PP: 1.63mm (.06”)
Data Used
Electrum Calculations:
Electrum is not a specific alloy – it is a name for any alloy of gold and silver. In order to obtain a coin, however, that is composed of those two metals, retains the same weight as either a SP or a GP, and achieves the PHB value of 0.5gp, it has to be a mix of 44.44‾% gold, 55.55‾% silver (by weight). That allowed the calculation of the alloy density of EP, and therefore the dimensions above.
Densities:
Cu: 8.96 g/cm3 | 4.72ozt/in3
Ag: 10.5 g/cm3 | 5.53ozt/in3
Electrum: 14.42 g/cm3 | 7.60ozt/in3
Au: 19.32 g/cm3 | 10.18ozt/in3
Pt: 21.45 g/cm3 | 11.30ozt/in3
Total volumes of coins:
CP: 1.0136cm3 | 0.0619in3
SP: 0.8650cm3 | 0.0528in3
EP: 0.6298cm3 | 0.0384in3
GP: 0.4701cm3 | 0.0287in3
PP: 0.4234cm3 | 0.0258in3
Fineness
All coins are calculated at 100% purity (1.000 fine). That is unrealistic, but it is not possible to account for the dozens of possible alloys and blends that one might justify using various historic models. These numbers should be good enough for pretty much anything your players want, but if you really want to get in to fine details or something, consider that debasing a coin will adjust its weight or its size. Lead is denser than copper or silver, so a coin of equal weight would have to be smaller. It’s a lot less dense than gold or platinum though, so the coin would have to be larger to make up for it. This is relevant, because coin scales of the time (used to weigh coins and ensure their value) also frequently had gauges to ensure the size was accurate as well. A warning to any tricksy rogue players who want to try their hand at counterfeiting. Also, the penalty for counterfeiting was usually death.

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

Feat: Immortality (General)

Feat: Immortality

With the DM's permission, you have become immortal. The only way you can die is through damage to your body by way of the elements, combat, etc. This feat may require you to perform some arcane ritual, slay a powerful creature, make a wish, etc.


Bonus: 
  • Ageless (Ex): An Immortal creature does not take any penalty from aging and do not die of old age. They do not lose any penalties taken before the acquisition of the feat.
  • Immortal Health (Ex): An Immortal creature is immune to all poison, disease, ability damages, ability drains and fatigue. They also no longer need to sleep, eat, drink or breath.

Please note: This Feat may make some characters fairly OP, so please use caution when granting it.